#chang seungyeon theme

[just-a-ghost00]

What do they wish they could tell you?

This reading is romantically enclined. If you're wondering about a specific person that you're romantically interested in, whatever your situation may be, this reading is for you. The theme of this reading is Kpop solo artists.

Group 1

Cards : 4 of wands, Nature, Tibetan black quartz - Light up your spiritual path

I wanted to first adress that as I was pulling the cards for you, I felt a bit of warmth radiate through my stomach, around the solar plexus. And immediately this made me think of longing. I got the feeling that for a lot of you this would be a person that you are in a separation with, someone that is currently far from you whether that is by choice or because of external circumstances. The card of the tibetan black quartz mentioned a question that caught my eye straight away. "Could I be even clearer right now?" And this felt like something they would actually want to tell you. "What more do you want me to do? How far do I have to go to prove you that this is real?" This person feels frustrated and hopeless because they think you are not getting their point. That you do not see eye to eye with them. However, they think they have tried everything in their power to get you to understand the extent of their feelings. This person thinks a lot about you. They turn the situation over and over in their head again, to figure out what they've missed, what they could or should have done differently. The nature card made me feel like life circumstances lead you to go on your separate ways, yet this person is still keeping an eye on you and thinking about you consistantly. They cannot forget you. With so many eyes represented on the card and the presence of wings as well as a moon crescent that is placed like a halo, this makes me think that this person feels spiritually connected to you. The current distance between you allows them to consider your connection from a different angle and understand the truth of it all. Even though they may be missing you dearly, they think it's a blessing in disguise. This person wants to tell you that you are their home. With that 4 of wands, I get a strong message of "I want to come home to you".

"I want us to support each other and walk in the same direction. To face the future together, hand in hand, no matter what's ahead of us. I don't want us to fight and sulk all alone in our corner, when we could be together and ruling the world. I want us to write our own story. One we could fondly talk about to our children someday. One we could look back to with sparkle in our eyes as if it were yesterday. I have deeply thought about you, about us. About the change I wanted to see and the future I envisioned. And today, I know that my future is with you. I know that I want you to be around when I wake up in the morning, when I'm feeling down at the end of the day or excited about my success. I want you to be around when I am taking another step towards my goals or when I'm thinking of going back to where I started. I want us to see each other for who we are. No masks, no pretending. Just us, waltzing in the middle of a room like today could disappear and there would be no tomorrow. I love you. That thought has become as clear as the day. As certain as there is a rainbow after the rain. I want you like I have never wanted anyone before. That scared me, I admit it. But now I know. I know what it means and I am in for it. How can I get that feeling across to you? What do I have to do for you to trust me and let me in? Haven't I done enough already? Haven't have told you how much you meant to me? What was I lacking for you to distrust me and walk away? I want you to see me. Not for the person I used to be, not for what people portray me as, but for the person I am when I'm with you and the one I want to be for you. I wish you could see my efforts and my value. That you shared the same vision of the future as me. I miss you. There isn't a single day that I don't think about you. Everything reminds me of you and that is excruciating. To know that you may not feel the same, that maybe you are already in other arms, other sheets. That maybe you don't think of me like I do. That you have moved on and forgotten everything we've been through. When I look at the sky, I think I see your face looking down on me. When I see a star, I wish it were you shining a light on me. I pray to God for your presence. I ask for you to be safe and sound. I ask for you to love me. In my prayers I talk to you and whisper to the wind the words I wish I could whisper into your ear. Do they get to you? Do you feel my embrace anytime you are caught by the wind? Because I do."

Group 2

Cards : Page of swords, The Wildling, Hiddenite - Claim your happy place

First of all, I want to mention that a lot of air related energy is being represented in this spread and there's an emphasis put on swords because the wildling card also has two swords crossing depicted on it. Which reminds me of the 2 of swords card in certain decks. Right off the bat, I got a very combattive energy from these cards and heard "You are mine". "I'm coming for you." It feels like this person may have been very uncertain in the past about you, what you meant to them and what they hoped for. But they recently gained clarity about that and now they wish to communicate without about what they have found out. I also felt like this person is very protective over you and feeling urged to act. As if something happened that triggered this visceral need of being by your side as soon as possible. For some of you, I'm getting the message that your person may have heard that you were being courted by another person. If that is not the case, something may have given them the impression that such a thing was happening. They want to tell you that people better stay away from you because they intend to "claim" you as theirs. I'm getting a message that this person had a dream in which they were losing you, possibly in a tragic way or a dramatic way. And this person thought to themselves " sh*t I didn't see that coming". They want to tell you that now, they know where they stand when it comes to you. They want to be by your side, fighting with you instead of against you.

"I am done resisting the urge to love you with all I have. In the past, I tried to forget you. To ignore what I felt was so obvious. I was stuck in a loop, struggling between my thoughts of you and my fears. I was fighting against myself and in the process I was fighting you. I hurt you, said and did things that lead you to believe I was cold, that I didn't care when in reality you were all I could see. You were in my mind 24/7. I kept imagining things, wondering how we could be together, trying to establish the possibilities I had, making plans in my mind but I got scared and ran away. I am done running. I don't want to lie to you anymore. I don't want to pretend being this cold hearted s.o.b that only thinks about their own satisfaction. I want to be with you. To prove you that you were not wrong. To show you the true essence of who I am. I want to know more about you. To figure out this thing that's between us, understand why it's there, where it's taking us. I just want to talk to you. To know you're okay. That you're safe and sound, that no one has laid a finger on you. If that ever happened, I would be devastated. I look at your pictures and can"t help but wonder who took it. Was there another person behind the camera that loves you more than I do? I'm tired of acting as if nothing happened, of going to work or going on with my day wearing a mask of indifference when all I can think about is having you in my arms. I wish to tell you I am different than what you perceive of me. That I am worth your time and energy. I want to fight for your love and attention, to be worthy of you. I want to prove the world that we make sense. That we go together well. I want to make a statement that will mark you forever and let everyone know that you are off limits."

Group 3

Cards: 4 of wands, Connect to heart, Pyrite - call on your core power

Before doing your reading, as I shuffled the cards, I challened the song Listen to your heart from Roxette. Looking at the lyrics a little, I got the feeling of someone being afraid of missing an opportunity if they ever chose to walk away. It's like this person wants to say "I don't want to make the wrond decision". "I'm afraid of ruining it all if I don't take this seriously." They wish to tell you that they imagine a future with you. That to them, you are more than just a friend or a random person they may have met a few times. That their feelings are stronger than what you may perceive or imagine. They wish to tell you that they would do anything for you. That they feel attracted to you in ways that sometimes surprise them. That they are loyal to you and that their heart is filled with love whenever they think about you. You hold the key to this person's heart. They feel like you are connected through space and time. And even if you may be apart, this person's gaze is always turned towards you, their heart is always open to you, their thoughts are filled with memories of you. They just cannot go away and close the door, no matter how hard they try. Their feelings for you are stronger than any fear they may have regarding the connection. This person wishes to tell you that they want to be by your side through thick and thin.

" I love you. It's as simple as that. There isn't much to say or to argue about. Because deep in your heart, you know this is the truth. Ever since I met you, I have envisioned a future where we stood together hand in hand. I have wanted to be with you and support you, to hold you in my arms and cherish you for the rest of my life. Upon first sight I knew that this was not just a coincidence. That this meant more than our eyes could see and our minds could grasp. I felt immediately close to you and this incessant need to be close to you. I wanted to love you with all I had. I couldn't help but to adore you and worship you. I was like a dog on a leash and if at first I got scared, with time I didn't mind. Because it felt like this was the right thing to do. I always feel you in the corner of my mind. If I close my eyes, I can see you dancing in the room, trying to please me and seduce me. I can picture your body on the floor and the way it moves so naturally against mine. I can see us walking to the altar hand in hand, a smile on our faces, love radiating through our hearts. I can imagine the house we'd have, the family we'd build. The fairytale kind of love I always wished for. I cannot think of anyone else better than you to fit that role. I wouldn't want anyone else, even if that person was a better match. Because I chose you. And I am not going to go back on that decision. I want to make love to you. But everything has its own time, right? Let us not rush. We have all the time in the world to learn about each other and explore this bond that we share. I am sure you feel it too. This isn't an illusion. It is real. And I want you to embrace it just like I intend to do."

[newjeanzs]

✦✧ clc seungyeon theme!! ೃ

like or reblog if you save ♡.

@itzydetails on twt .

- lay ❀

[bluehhj]

listen to me — chapter 11

LISTEN TO ME  — 0011

listen to me masterlist;

WORDS: 1.5K

There's always a professor that no one likes or at least doesn't sympathize with. This is an indisputable fact that applies in almost 100% of situations, and in Jinah's class it was no different. Even though he was good to explain the subject, Dr. Kim didn't like many people with his features always contorted in a latent irony and the bad mood of each day.

However, that morning the middle-aged man looked a bit more malleable, since the first thing he did when he entered the room was to rest the laptop on the table and give his full attention to it, and most of the time he passed a huge list of exercises or forcing college students to read five-hundred-page books in less than a week.

Jade, already with her nerves in the right place, stretched and decided not to do anything to spend her rare free time. Both her mind and body were tired, for to reconcile study and long hours of work wasn't easy for those who only wanted a few minutes of quiet once in a while. One could say the same thing about Jinah, who at that point already managed not to lay her head on the table, to sleep and dream about her longed-for Sunday, the only day of the week when she could shut herself off without any consequences, but there was something that worried her and wouldn't let her relax.

After a discreet glance at Chaerin, who was sitting at the back of the room, she turned in her chair and looked at her american friend.

"What did you say to Jisung?" she asked quietly. Jade had arrived in class a couple of minutes late, so Jinah believed that her conversation with Han had worked out not so positively, since neither was calm at the time.

"What he needed to hear," she shrugged. "I spoke to Jackson as well. I even think my name is now written on his Death Note."

What he needed to hear, Jinah didn't like the intonation of that part.

"But you weren't too rude to Jisung, right?"

Jade pressed her brown irises into those of the other girl.

"Are you liking him, by any chance?"

"What?" the brunette's tone rose slightly, as her eyes widened. "Of course not!"

"All your concern for him isn't for nothing, I know you."

"Don't say bullshit. The boy just left an engagement in the worst possible way, do you really think I'd approach him just for that purpose?

"I should've guessed you wouldn't admit it."

"I have nothing to admit, Jieun," Jinah said earnestly. "I don't like Jisung that way, that's something of this unoccupied head of yours."

It wasn't as if Jade fully believed. She knew the other girl long enough to know that when she liked someone she made no effort to protect and care for that someone in any situation. And although the relationship she was trying to keep with Jisung hadn't yet come to such a benchmark, she was on the right track. The living proof of this was that Jinah wasn't so tolerant of rude people, but when it came to Han, she always found some argument that camouflaged his flaws and justified his actions. Jade was worried about the direction things might take.

Dr. Kim got to his feet and cleared his throat in front of the room, bringing the attention of the presents back to his person.

"Open the handouts on pages one hundred and twelve to one hundred and seventeen. There are some texts on slightly controversial subjects and I wanted you to organize in pairs to write a synthesis with your opinions cohesively," he dictated and some small complaints were muffled in the back of the room. "It's not complicated, I just need to keep you busy until I've finished organizing some things that the rectory has sent me" he pointed at his computer and the various papers on the table. "Show me the result in the next class. And before I forget, I know very well what comes out when the same pairs come together for this kind of thing, it isn't the first time that we do work like this. Therefore, each row will be grouped with the last, the second with the penultimate and so on. Get mixed up, I want diversified points of view."

Even though her mood was almost zero, Jade turned to see who her pair were and found Chang Seungyeon's smile. She had had the opportunity to talk to her a few times since they worked in the same organization — Jade at the telephone help desk and Seungyeon as an assistant to one of the clinic psychologists who had the first agency as a member, this being one of the good marketing strategies to expand the ways they can help their clients at times when physical attendance isn't possible. Both get along.

Jinah wasn't so lucky.

The exchange of glances between Chaerin and her was hesitant. The first one knew who Jinah was not only by the photo with Jisung, at the mall, but also by Hyunjin, who made a point of showing her to emphasize that Han wasn't at the bottom of the pit as he supposed Chaerin would think — even though actually he did was at the bottom of the pit and the girl hadn't thought that way.

An uneasy silence arose as they sat side by side, opened the handouts, and began to read the themes. Neither of them could assimilate more than one line of the text without the thoughts taking their own life and beginning to follow other paths, the concentration ceased to exist. Chaerin looked at Jinah out of the corner of her eye. This was a work where they had to talk openly to exchange ideas, but under the circumstances it seemed like an almost impossible task, but they couldn't remain silent forever.

Chaerin cleared her throat. She should start by saying something about the work, but her damn curiosity and concern spoke louder.

"I know it's none of my business, but..." she hesitated for a moment. Jinah saw in those few seconds a chance to speak too, as her tongue would scratch inside her mouth.

"He's my friend. Or a half friend. Or maybe a fourth of a friend, Anyway, don't care about the rumors you've heard."

"No, it's okay. It's just..." Chaerin wet her lips, looking down at the tabletop. "Well, that may sound very hypocritical of me, but I never wanted any harm to Jisung, really."

"Then why did you leave him like that?" before she could tell, the question escaped Jinah's lips. "Not that it's any of my business either, but your marriage was marked and out of nowhere you ran away with another guy."

She waited for Chaerin to be irritated by the audacity and not to answer her, but all the other girl did was let out a sad sigh.

"I was a coward," she admitted. "Too coward for not being able to look him in the eye and tell the truth... I like Jisung, but... But it wasn't in my plans to love Seungmin" the last part came out almost whispered. "And I knew I would hurt Jisung if I told him so, so I avoided it for so long. Except that, in the end, I wounded him twice more."

Jinah looked closely at her features and didn't notice anything that would prove a lie — in fact, Chaerin wasn't lying. She could be inconsequential, but she wasn't a complete fool, and even if shame were to stop her actions, she still wanted to have a conversation with Jisung in the future, so that she might get his forgiveness someday.

"But it's as they say: you don't choose who you're going to fall in love with," continued Chaerin, smiling weakly. "I couldn't give Jisung all he deserves, so, I hope, from the heart, that he find someone who can give. Anyway, sorry for the outburst."

"No need to apologize." Jinah mimicked the other girl's gesture, letting the edges of her lips bulge and shaped a slight, even sympathetic smile on her face. "Everybody makes some nonsense every once in a while, and even though you're wrong, I understand your side of the story."

"Do you really?" Chaerin was surprised. She didn't expect to get that kind of reaction from anyone, quite the opposite; in the face of her deeds, not even her own mercy she could have, who would tell of others.

"Of course. Sometimes, love induces us to do stupid things."

"You're right," a soft laugh escaped Chaerin's lips. "Thank you, Jinah. Be it as a friend, a half friend or a fourth of a friend, you're very good. Jisung is lucky."

Choi also laughed, but it was an ironic laugh.

"I wish..." she reminded herself every time she didn't feel enough for Jisung to accept her company. Oh, she wasn't that good. If she was, wouldn't be so rejected. "Let's go back to work? Soon the class is over and we haven't done anything yet."

Chaerin nodded, opening the book again. Jinah did the same, but there was still something hammering in her head.

Jade and her damn hypotheses.

[hyojinrk-archived]

MGA 5 EPISODE ONE: tooice’s tt ( 8:08 - 9:11 ) & billie eilish’s idontwannabeyouanymore ( 3:31 - 4:17 ) reimagined acoustic cover

SHOWCASED: singing, guitar, creativity, bilinguality concept versatility??

TW: minor anxiety

there’s a sinking feeling in his chest when he sees the email, with its sleek, coldly official design and matter-of-fact wording. clicking around, reading every email except for the one from mnet, hyojin chews his bottom lip as he tries to immerse himself in anything but the reminder that he had, even for a moment, decided to stray from the path he had decided to follow for the past few years.

‘CONGRATULATIONS, KIM HYOJIN.’

for some reason, he doesn’t feel like he’s being congratulated at all.

he skims through the acceptance email from motte capital, the familiar name of the manager not bringing him much comfort. at this point, he was already guaranteed a spot as an employee, having worked there since his freshman year in university. he’s sure it’s a position that would be envied by anyone else in his department -- getting a job at a large finance firm over one break, nevertheless every one? if he didn’t know better, he would have thought it preferential treatment, too.

( of course, that wasn’t true. the only connection he had was was back in anyang, wondering how her dear son was doing in the big city. )

with a sigh, he opens the email, wondering if there was some kind of mixup, or confusion, or just general cruelty. maybe they were congratulating him for trying out, only to reject him and tell him that he wasn’t good enough. maybe things were better off that way, anyways.

it’s not very normal of him to be this melancholy -- it’s just that his fight with doyoung and resurfacing memories of seungyeon have been weighing him down and keeping him awake lately. there isn’t much comfort he can find unless it’s in singing or when he’s in the studio with seunghun, or even just hanging around with sakura. it’s difficult, indeed.

he remains there foolishly, like a statue, at the slow sinking realization that it wasn’t a joke -- the email gives him an address and information that would make no sense otherwise unless he had somehow passed whatever preliminary screening they had put him through two weeks ago. hyojin’s first reaction, naturally, is to put his phone on the table, face down, and to ignore the message despite the objection his heart raises.

one day and many hours of mindlessly singing songs on the piano that he can vaguely remember the chords for, hyojin finds himself straying back to the lyrics for seattle by sam kim, the unfamiliar, twisting feeling in his gut that had been haunting him ever since he had seen the email growing stronger with every note. he stops and sits there for a while, looking at his fingers on the plastic white keys, the way the keyboard slowly moves with his arms on the thin beams that held it up. in retrospect, it was already used and cheap when he had gotten ahold of it, but at that time, he had carefully collected all of the wages he had gotten from the bakery in a little piggybank on his desk to buy some kind of replacement for the old, rundown piano that he had left back at home, only bringing his guitar along with his small suitcase.

he was more comfortable now than he used to be, of course, but the thought still lingers whenever he plays, the reminder that he had been so determined to get what he wanted just to sing, to make music in the way he could best striking a chord in him.

maybe this was a sign.

❀

“no, this isn’t it.” 

covering his mouth with his hand to try and muffle both a sigh of frustration and a yawn, his eyes remain glued on the bright screen of his laptop as he exits out of the fiftieth music video he’s seen that night. call it a bad habit, but when he stays up late for things like this, he tends to keep all the other lights off -- partially not to disturb jooyoung, but also to save electricity. there wasn’t much for him to lose, anyways -- he already wore glasses with an admittedly rather high prescription.

hearing the inklings of sleep creeping into his voice, now gruff from staying completely silent for at least an hour or so, he ruffles his hair to try and keep himself awake. he doesn’t have much time to waste before the internship starts in a week or two and with the auditions approaching faster than ever. he’ll fix whatever mess he makes of his sleep schedule later, when the performance is over. for now, he’ll have to find something that fits perfectly.

he wants to show another side of him while keeping the same theme. a chaos song? 12:30? a classic, but not currently trendy. what about a momoland song? or...

pausing in his trail of thought, hyojin’s mind zeroes in on an idea. a girl group song? that’s a good mix of trendy and catchy. finally picking up his guitar after spending so long with his fingers itching to play something, anything, but his head not allowing himself to get sidetracked while doing something so important. 

closing his eyes and strumming a few chords while muffling the strings, hyojin quietly starts to sing a song from the top of his head. “what to do, keep me still / make me like ooh ahh ooh ahh -- oh? that’s not bad, what about this,” changing the fingering patterns, he starts a new song, “who that who that who that boy,” then changing again, “i can’t stop this trembling / on and on and on / i wanna throw my all / into your world.” he stops playing once his voice gets a little too loud and he can hear it echo, wincing.

a girl group medley wouldn’t be too bad, but considering his time frame, the amount of time it would take him to decide on songs and arrange them together and practice seemed unrealistic. maybe he’ll just stick with one or two. 

it’s relatively smooth sailing after that -- he ends up choosing tooice’s tt, and after another session of scrolling through random songs on youtube to try and jar his memory as to what would be good to sing, he decides to settle on a billie eilish song as well. no matter how much he tries, he can’t ignore his ballad and emotional vocal side.

by the night before the performance, hyojin finds that the late thoughts have ebbed away, and falls into a dreamless sleep.

❀ IN THE STUDIO ; 

if he was asked to list out the top three things he was most grateful for at that very moment, hyojin would definitely list his cousin as one of them. he’s trying not to take note of how clammy his hands feel and the amount of nerves he has for something as big as this, but he manages to maintain his composure, more so to keep up appearances around jooyoung and not worry him. 

perhaps he’s too preoccupied with trying to absorb the largeness of the studio and everything around him, but before he knew it, his hand was being grabbed by jooyoung and he was being pulled along to a section of the seats. it takes him a second too late to realize that they weren’t going to be sitting along this time around -- although it isn’t unwelcome to see seungmin in any sort of setting, the realization that both jooyoung and seungmin were going to be sitting together for god knows how long. he’s tempted to take the lead and sit in between them to avoid becoming the collateral damage of their interaction, but it’s clear that the older male has something else in mind when he literally sits next to the boy.

“ah, seungminnie.” he waves a hand weakly in greeting, only offering an embarrassed smile when he’s responded to with surprise. 

admittedly, he hadn’t told anyone except for maybe jooyoung and sakura, but he also had run into seunghun and sungwoon during auditions. that makes for less than five people, but in retrospect, he didn’t seem like the type to do something like this.

he can feel the tension boiling between the two siblings, sitting awkwardly in his seat and watching the spectacle almost nervously, as if waiting any moment to break them apart in case a fight went down. so this would be what the kim family reunion would be like, huh. although, he supposes the only person missing would be junyoung.

regardless, he simply smiles back at jooyoung when the male turns helplessly to give him a dry smile and shrug, as if saying what can i do, that’s how youngsters are. laughing to try and break the bad mood, he shifts in his seat again and rubs the back of his neck sheepishly.

“let’s just do well, everyone.”

once the broadcasting begins and the ceos are introduced, hyojin finds himself covering his mouth in shock, and he turns to look at jooyoung in surprise. admittedly, he hadn’t really watched much of the mgas unless it was clips concerning sungwoon, so he had thought the judging panel would just be a bunch of professional performers that could judge idols. 

instead, seeing all five figures in front of him on the stage sends shocks through his body, somehow making the stakes seem far higher now that such qualified eyes were upon them. it wasn’t exactly that he listened to a lot of idol music or paid close attention to the entertainment companies, but it’s still the feeling of seeing celebrities in the flesh that makes him so starstruck.

even then, adding onto that, the contestants seemed to be called in a random order after the initial announcements were made by the judges. nevertheless, he tries his best to enjoy the stages, watching carefully and attentively as each of them performed and cheering for his friends. he can’t help but comment on haruto as he gets on the stage as well, surprised at seeing the familiar face.

“ah, so cute,” hyojin says, smiling fondly and his hands curling up in an almost cringe at how endearing he found the boy during his introduction, and he calls out a soft “がんばってね ( ganbatte ne / do your best )” to the boy in japanese before he starts his skating performance. it’s incredibly impressive and certainly something he’s never seen before until now, and the finesse with which the younger boy performed was definitely eye-catching. of course, he stands up in his seat when haruto ends up falling off the stage after waving, clear concern on his face for the poor boy that still doesn’t go away entirely, even when he proves to be okay.

that aside, he remains seated for the rest of the performances, cheering for seungmin as he sings an english song, mesmerized by his voice, and then jooyoung, who plays some of the guitar. despite having heard jooyoung practicing in his room from time to time, hyojin still chuckles at the similarity in their instrument choices, swaying along to the songs he plays.

“guess it’s a kim cousin thing.” he says to seungmin, gesturing at the acoustic guitar he had with him as well, before looking up at jooyoung with his electric guitar meaningfully.

by the time it was his turn to go up, it felt more like he had been watching a concert and was now being asked to perform.

❀ ON THE STAGE ; 

growing shy when he hears baek jiyoung call his name, hyojin grabs his guitar and heads onto the stage, ducking his head down with red ears. admittedly, he’s a little flustered to have all of their attention on him, but he tries his best to stay relaxed nevertheless. the moment he slings the guitar over his shoulder, however, he feels his legs starting to quiver slightly, only growing more intense when baek jiyoung asks him to introduce himself.

“ah, hello, i’m 21 year old kim hyojin,” he says, holding up two fingers on one hand and one finger on the other with a soft smile. 

he tries not to think of other things while speaking, but he can’t help but think back to how doyoung would occasionally call him a ‘pretty boy,’ and even how his old middle school friends would comment on his eye smile and how sweet he looked whenever smiling. stuttering before he continues his sentence, hyojin adds, “i’ve been singing since i was around... seven? yeah -- i won’t take up too much longer, but i hope you’ll enjoy and that the worries you might have had today will be erased. also...”

inhaling softly once he realizes how his legs are wobbling a bit now, hyojin grows sheepish, asking, “would it be okay if i got a chair? i think i’ll sit while playing.” 

thanking the staff member that brings up a chair for him to sit on and adjusting the microphone to his height while strumming the guitar to make sure it’s tuned, he looks up again at the audience, then the judges, trying not to grow red before flashing a thumbs up. taking a deep breath, he starts to strum the beginning to tooice’s tt.

이러지도 못하는데      i’m in two minds 저러지도 못하네      in an awkward situation 그저 바라보며 ba-ba-ba-baby      i just stare and say ba-ba-ba-baby 매일 상상만 해 이름과 함께      everyday i only imagine without asking 쓱 말을 놨네 baby      i talk casually and say your name baby 아직 우린 모르는 사인데     but we don’t even know each other 

singing the song sweetly despite it being at the same fast pace, hyojin purposefully slows down at some parts to emphasize, varying the notes in a more syncopated, sensual way than the typically cutesy way of the original. at the same time, he notably pouts at the last line, his eyes shining as his fingers brush over the strings in a well practiced manner.

nanana nananana 콧노래가 나오다가 나도 몰래      i start humming and before i know it 눈물 날 것 같애     i feel like crying, i don’t feel like myself 아닌 것 같애 내가 아닌 것 같애      this isn’t like me at all i love you so much

 trying not to grow shy when he hears jooyoung’s voice cheering for him the crowd, he closes his eyes briefly, starting to feel himself get lost in the rhythm of the song, growing out of his nervous shell that he had shown in the introduction. as soon as he hits the chord for the last line, he opens his eyes to wink at the judge panel on ‘i love you so much.’

이미 난 다 컸다고 생각하는데      think i’m all grown up now 어쩌면 내 맘인데 왜      i’m free to make my own choices, but why 내 맘대로 할 수 없는 건데      why can’t i have it my way 밀어내려고 하면 할수록      the more i try to push you away 자꾸 끌려 왜 자꾸 자꾸 끌려 baby      the more i’m drawn and attracted to you baby

slowly picking up the beat as he reaches an especially well known part of the popular girl song, he bursts into a bright smile once he starts to see some heads bobbing in the audience, clearly enjoying the rendition of such a popular song, some even starting to do the gestures of the dance vaguely.

i’m like tt, just like tt 이런 내 맘 모르고 너무해 너무해     you don’t know how i feel, so mean, so mean i’m like tt, just like tt tell me that you’d be my baby

hitting the chorus, he starts to have fun with the lyrics, his voice following along smoothly as he slightly angles his head to glance at the contestants in the audience with a slighty half smile, almost like a smirk, shaking his head cutely while singing ‘so mean, so mean.’ once he reaches the end of the segment, he slows down his strumming, ending it on a nice chord. 

before a silence ensues, he adjusts his sitting position ever so slightly before starting, strumming the guitar, before entering right into the middle of the chorus of idonwannabeyouanymore.

if "i love you" was a promise would you break it, if you're honest tell the mirror what you know she's heard before

hitting each beat hard, he starts to sing more powerfully, voice thick with emotion and eyes squeezing shut as he feels the melody, shifting into a far different mood from the playful nature of tt. in a few seconds, the atmosphere suddenly turns melancholy and moody.

i don't wanna be you i don't wanna be you

slowing down as he draws out the lines slowly, he starts playing the guitar more quietly in the background, barely pausing to repeat the line again, this time going into a higher note, hearing it sound smoothly in the studio.

i don't wanna be you, anymore 

finally, one last time, he echoes the last line, playing nothing but one last chord and eyes reopening gradually. removing his fingers from the neck of the guitar, he speaks a “thank you” into the microphone before standing up and bowing multiple times to the people around him.

flipping the guitar so that it hung over his shoulder against his back, he makes his way off the stage with a little more confidence than when he entered it. as much as it was nervewracking, he would be lying if he said it wasn’t enjoyable.

maybe singing was what he was meant to do, after all.